Loghain Industries
by Zute
Summary: AU story - Grey Wardens, North America, is bought in a hostile takeover. Can Grey Wardens survive or will Loghain Industries gut the esteemed organization? Warning: Bad puns abound.
1. After the Proxy Battle

_**Note: **This was in response to a prompt on People Of Thedas (google for a link), about putting two or more characters into another story, world, setting, or something. This was my attempt. This is also the first G-rated thing I've written I believe! I may do a follow-up chapter later for the 'Landsmeet' (aka board meeting)._

"Alistair, you've got to stop blubbering on about this. What's done is done and there isn't any going back now," Elissa Cousland slammed her laptop down, probably breaking it again.

Alistair pushed his glasses back up his nose for the tenth time in the last five minutes. _Somehow,_ Elissa thought, _Alistair made nerdy sexy_. She thought he might have gotten the job from his connections, or maybe his looks. He spent an awful lot of time in the gym and he must spend more money on his hair than Elissa spent on her car.

"If I had just been there, I could have..." he moaned. "Duncan, Martine, the guy with the big beard... what was his name? Gone, all gone."

"Well, it's going to be you and me next, Al. You need to pull up your argyles and get it together. We've got a week, ten days at best, to wrench this thing out of Loghain Industries' control otherwise you and I and everyone else at Grey Wardens, North America, can kiss our careers goodbye."

"I can't believe Weisshaupt is leaving us hanging like this," Alistair moaned. "Not a word! Those bastards. And why haven't the French or Italian divisions come to our rescue?"

"Loghain is vying for a hostile takeover of them too. This isn't just us. I don't know what is going on with Weisshaupt; Germany is never in contact with us."

Elissa and Alistair sat down at the large, now empty, conference table. Slumped actually. Elissa's head clunked down on the table in despair.

They had tried to signal the board about the coming proxy fight, but they had been too late. Loghain Industries had made a creeping tender offer, quietly buying up public shares until they had held a majority. Then it had happened: it started with the junior VP's and worked it's way up. The axe was falling. It finally fell on Duncan's neck, the CEO that had led Grey Wardens, North America, back into markets that had been untouched for decades.

The Loghain, of Loghain Industries, or LI, had strode into the boardroom that one fateful day last week, a majority owner, and had fired everyone there. Now Rendon Howe was chairman and he was intent on gutting GWNA and taking all their proprietary assets, patents, their best people... everything. All that was left of the management team was Elissa Cousland, Vice President of Research and Development, only recently hired, and Alistair the CFO, also a relatively new hire. Loghain was going to have them ride the ship down, dismantle it and pour kerosene on it.

Alistair's executive assistant, Wynne, walked into the boardroom and saw the two depressed executives.

"Alistair, there's a woman named Dr. Flemeth here to see you," she said.

Elissa picked her head up off the table. "Dr. Flemeth? I don't know anyone by that name." She let her head clunk back down on the boardroom table.

Wynne shrugged and dropped her card in front of Elissa. She picked it up despondently and read.

_Grace Flemeth, PhD_  
_Chairman _  
_Korcari Wilds Company_

"Korcari Wilds? What possible interest could they have in us?" Elissa said, looking at Alistair.

"Oh, you wouldn't know this, of course, since you're so new. But we've been providing them with product for a few years. It's a good deal for them. They're going to be hurt too," Alistair said, sighing.

"Show her in," Elissa told Wynne.

An older woman walked in, dressed in an outfit that looked like it walked out of the 1940's. She wore a pencil skirt and a jacket with the long, lean silhouette right out of the era.

Dr. Flemeth looked at the two remaining Grey Wardens.

"You're all that's left?" Dr. Flemeth asked, shaking her head.

Alistair nodded. Elissa gestured for Dr. Flemeth to sit down.

"Such manners! And always in the last place you look... like socks!" she said, with a very odd cackle.

Alistair looked at Elissa, fear growing in his eyes.

"Dr. Flemeth, it's a pleasure to meet you, but as you no doubt heard, thing are looking very grim here," Elissa said. She looked over at Alistair, wishing he'd take charge, he was the senior executive after all.

"Either the threat is more or they realize less. Or perhaps the threat is nothing! Or perhaps they realize nothing!" Dr. Flemeth said, laughing.

Alistair mouthed 'crazy' at Elissa and she nodded.

"Um, I believe Rendon Howe is going to gut the company. I know that is going to have an effect on your business as well," Elissa said.

"Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature," Dr. Flemeth said, nodding sympathetically.

"Well, yes, I suppose that's true, although I don't know how that's going to help us."

"Have the Wardens no allies these days? Strategic alliances?" Dr. Flemeth said, finally saying something slightly helpful.

Elissa sat up straighter in her chair. "Maker's breath mint?" She offered one to Dr. Flemeth and Alistair, they each took one. The bolt of minty freshness made her brain click into action.

"Alistair, you know our strategic alliances better than I do," Elissa said. "Is there anyone we can call on? If we could rally them, perhaps we could buy back a majority of GWNA, double-back on Loghain, and seize control."

Alistair sat up straight in his chair, pushing his glasses back into place. "Of course, there's Dalish Limited and The Orzammar Company. Orzammar has been supplying us parts for years and Dalish depend on our technology for their product line. I think we can also get some help from Kinloch Holdings."

Elissa jumped up. "Yes! There's a chance."

Dr. Flemeth smiled and cackled. "There you are, it sounds like a plan. Raise your allies and seize control from this... Loghain."

Alistair looked at Elissa. "Can we do this?" he asked.

"We must," Elissa replied.

Dr. Flemeth cackled again. "I have just one request in return for whatever help I can give you."

Elissa nodded. "Sure, whatever you need, you've been very helpful."

"My daughter needs a job. Take her as your assistant, Elissa," Dr. Flemeth insisted.

"Oh, that would be fine, I'm sure. I've been meaning to hire someone." Elissa hoped Dr. Flemeth's daughter wasn't a complete waste of desk space.

Alistair and Elissa watched Dr. Flemeth leave. They looked at one another and smiled. Elissa could already taste sweet victory in firing Rendon Howe's greasy, sneering ass and defeating Loghain at his own game. If they broke Loghain's grip, he might not be able to raise the capital to try another takeover of their European counterparts.

"Let's get some lunch," Elissa suggested.


	2. The Landsmeet

Warning! Rating changed. Couldn't resist.

**The Landsmeet**

Elissa wiped away the sweat from her forehead. _Maker's breath mint_s... they'd fallen off her desk when Alistair's big arm swooped out and cleared her desk of everything in one fell swoop: iPad, phone, laptop and breath mints had fallen to the floor just before he deposited her on top of it, rucking her skirt up to her waist and sliding her thong off.

"I can't believe we just did that," Alistair said, zipping up his slacks. "Do you think Wynne heard?"

Elissa stepped back into her thong and pulled it up, then buttoned her shirt. "Unless she turned off her hearing aid." She stepped over to Alistair and straightened his tie and buttoned his jacket. "We needed that. We've been under tremendous pressure and I think it helped relieve some stress, don't you?" She spit on a tissue and rubbed the lipstick off his cheek.

"When do they get here?" Alistair asked, checking his watch yet again.

"We have twenty minutes," Elissa said. She picked up the items off the floor and put them back on the desk. She popped a mint into her mouth and one in Alistair's. It wouldn't due to have sex-breath at the shareholder's meeting they were crashing.

There was a knock at the door and Wynne voice announced that Eamon Guerrin had arrived.

"How do I look?" Elissa asked Alistair.

"Your hair is a little... mussed," he reached out and smoothed it down. The gesture was rather tender. The last two weeks had been nothing but work, phone calls, arguments and lately, frenzied sex when the tension was about to boil over. There hadn't really been anything tender or sweet in couplings, but there just hadn't been time.

"Send him in, Wynne," Alistair called through the door. He strode over and unlocked it.

Wynne brought Eamon into the office the two executives had been sharing for nearly two weeks while trying to outmaneuver Loghain.

"Eamon!" Alistair said, reaching out to shake the older man's hand heartily. "I'm so glad to hear you've recovered from your stroke." He pulled the man into an embrace. "I knew the stem cell therapy would work!"

"Alistair, I owe you a debt of gratitude for sending Isolde the name of that stem cell researcher. Dr. Anne Draste is a miracle worker! And it is amazing how quickly it worked! Last week, I was drooling and couldn't feed myself. If there's anything I can do for you."

Alistair smiled at Elissa. "Actually, we could use your help. You still control 20% of GWNA and we desperately need your support at the shareholders meeting today. We're going to vote to replace the board and wrest back control from Loghain."

"Ah yes, Loghain." He frowned. "I'll be happy to vote with you today."

Elissa let out a sigh of relief. "That nearly gets us the majority. Another 4% and we've got it."

"Eamon, is there anyone else you could persuade to vote with you?" Alistair asked.

Eamon thought for a moment. "I think Gloria Alfstanna might stand with us. Her brother used to work for Rendown Howe and hates the man. Gary Sighard too. He son was ruthlessly crushed in a takeover led by Howe. The Alienage Fund controls a sizable share of GWNA and they're not impressed with Loghain's charitable giving record, I'm sure we could convince them."

"Would that be enough?" Elissa asked.

Eamon nodded. "I think that's a good 6% or slightly more right there."

Elissa smiled happily. "Our allies were able to buy up another 20% and Daddy bought some too."

Eamon looked at Elissa. "Are you Bryce Cousland's youngest?"

She nodded. "Do you know my father?"

"Of course! We served in Desert Storm together. Tell him Eamon says 'hello' next time you see him."

"I will! Of course!" Elissa said.

"I'd better start making some phone calls," Eamon said. "We don't have much time."

Alistair stuck his head out the office door. "Wynne would you mind setting up Eamon in an office for awhile?"

Wynne didn't respond, she just kept typing.

"Wynne?" Alistair said louder. She still didn't respond.

"WYNNE?" he bellowed.

She looked up and saw him looking at her and fiddled with her ear a moment. "Sorry, Alistair, I had the hearing aid turned off. I'll turn it on now if Elissa is done shrieking." She gave him a dirty look. "What do you need?"

"Would you set up Eamon in an office for awhile? He needs to make some phone calls. Make sure he's got everything he needs."

"Of course," Wynne said pleasantly.

Alistair went back into their office and wrung his hands nervously.

"Don't be nervous, Al, we've got a majority if Eamon comes through."

"I never could have done this without you," he said. He reached for her hand and held it tenderly.

"True," she said. "We're going to need to come up with a new board though and a new CEO."

"Why can't we just reappoint the old board," he asked.

"They've moved on, Al. Duncan and several others are with Fade Inc. They seem happy there."

Alistair and Elissa discussed the new board until Eamon came back into their office with a big smile.

"I've got your votes," he declared.

Elissa jumped up and hugged him. "Excellent! Alistair and I were just talking about who should be on the board. I hope you'll agree to take a position, Eamon."

Eamon nodded. "Of course. Of course. I think Alistair here should be CEO."

Elissa felt her face flush. _Alistair CEO? She had done all the work, all the planning and Eamon wanted him as CEO?_

Alistair chuckled modestly. "Oh no, Eamon. I don't think..."

"Nonsense, my boy, you were born to lead." Eamon clapped him on the back and they walked out of the office together.

"You old fucker..." Elissa swore, after they were safely out of hearing range. "I know more about this company in the three weeks I've been here than Alistair learned the entire time he's been here. I saved this company! I engineered this strategy to get back control... and you want Alistair?" She threw a legal pad across the room and when it didn't break anything she got the nearest coffee mug and winged it at the door. It shattered with a satisfying spray of ceramic shards.

Elissa consoled herself with the thought that Alistair probably wouldn't last six months in the position and she might be in a better position to take over herself. She went to the executive restroom and freshened up for the meeting.

Alistair was waiting for her outside the double doors to the room. Everyone was already inside and they were just about to start voting.

"Ah, there you are!" Alistair said, nervously. "We've got to go in now."

Elissa nodded sternly and threw open the double doors with a bang. Someone standing near the door gave a little shriek and scurried out of her way. Loghain himself was addressing the stockholders and he stopped as every eye in the conference hall was drawn to the pair entering.

"Well, and what have we here? The remnants of the Grey Wardens? I don't recall having invited you two to this meeting," Loghain sneered.

Elissa stepped forward, locking eyes with Loghain. "We're calling for a vote, Mr. Loghain. We have proxies for a majority of the stockholders and we demand that the current board be recalled and a new one elected."

Loghain saw something in her eyes that intrigued him. There was a fearlessness, yes, but something else he couldn't quite identify. He snorted at her declaration. "Right," he said dubiously. "And where did _you_ come up with a majority?"

Elissa gestured to Alistair whose arms were loaded with bundles of paper.

"We have the proxies for Orzammar, Dalish, Kinloch Holdings, Gloria Alfstanna, Bryce Cousland, Gary Sighard, the Alienage Fund and, of course, Eamon Guerrin."

Loghain snapped his fingers and an assistant came to his side. "Look over those proxies carefully, Rutherford." He glared at Elissa. "I was once told a man is made by the quality of his enemies. I wonder if that's more a compliment to you or me."

"It doesn't matter, Mr. Loghain, you've lost the Grey Wardens, NA. You can see on the proxy slips that they've elected a new board and appointed a new CEO. You and your crew are out. You won't be gutting this company today."

Loghain snatched one of the proxy ballots and read it. Nowhere on it was Elissa's name. A small smile played over his mouth. "And what about you? No place on the board? Not the CEO? Let me guess, you engineered this, didn't you, and the idiots have completely overlooked you to put the guy with the great hair in charge?"

Elissa looked away and drew a deep breath.

Rutherford scurried over to Loghain. "The ballots are in order, sir."

Loghain's mouth curled in a smirk. He laughed heartily. "Well played. Very well played." He stared at Elissa a moment. "You. What will you do?"

She shook her head imperceptibly and frowned. "I don't know."

Rendon Howe scurried over to Loghain. "Sir, is there a problem?"

Loghain smiled at Howe. "No, not at all. Howe, you're fired."

"But sir..."

Loghain turned from him back to Elissa. "It appears I have an opening in my organization. I promise you, I always reward talent." He pulled a spiral bound notebook out of his pocket and wrote a figure on it and handed it to her.

Her eyes widened and she looked at him in disbelief.

"Shall we discuss this further over dinner, my dear?" Loghain asked her.

Elissa looked at Alistair who was shaking hands with Eamon, neither man had even bothered to congratulate or thank her.

"Yes," she said. "Yes, I think that would be fine." She looped her arm through Loghain's and they walked out of the conference room together.

Loghain was somewhat disappointed to have lost his acquisition, but the new one on his arm more than made up for it.


End file.
